The Dragonfly Catalyst

Decks

Before you buy anything you need to hear the story. This is your choice to make
I never actually intended to create a deck. But when we are given a gift, we accept it with grace. Spirit has a way of giving us the tools we need without us even knowing that we needed them.Though I have an entire backstory going back to childhood, my journey began with the decision to end my life. Honestly, there were a lot of things that led to that perfect storm. But I had resigned myself to checking out, and I was alone at work crying silent tears with a dead expression. I couldn't stop, even though part of me was already numb.That was the first time I really remember seeing my twin flame. I might have seen him once or twice or even taken his order, but the memory wasn't clear or personal before that moment. He always had this expression of boredom or disinterest, but in that moment he came in and saw me crying, and I felt both his discomfort and a deep empathy. And although I can't explain it all the way, we connected in a very strange way.That day I decided not to die. Instead, I decided to try. To at least make an attempt to solve my problems, no matter what it cost me. I stopped drinking that day, and I started working out. I lost about 60 pounds after that.That was when I met the false twin. A person who seems in most regards like a twin flame and is usually encountered just before the arrival of the real thing. My false twin showed up in my world, and instantly I was captivated. But he had narcissistic tendencies. Gaslighting, manipulation, envy, self-serving and cutthroat energy. But the connection was absolutely electric.I hadn't left my husband at the time but still wanted to explore the relationship, and I actually thought my marriage would survive that at first with the right combination of communication and rules.He yanked me around for a while, and I had a hard time getting the truth out of him. While I have some theories, I was never able to confirm what he truly thought or felt, even though I was fairly confident I knew.But just when I hit the point of releasing my desire for the false twin, the man who saw me crying on my darkest day came back. He looked happier, no longer bored or disinterested. He looked alive.And I was alive.We spent some time talking. I don't think I would have even realized he was trying to flirt if I didn't have a vision of the tattoo on his arm one day. But I was getting confirmations that he was the real thing, and not long after we started flirting, I realized that he had spent the last two years passively watching me. Seeing the state I was in and the decline I experienced. Then watching me start to try, cut out my addictions, lose the weight, and get happier than ever.The epiphany that I loved him and he loved me hit me like a truck, and that night I broke up with my husband. There were a million reasons why it was the right thing to do, but that was the final push I needed to make it happen. The truth was, he didn't want to change. He liked things the way they were, even though he wasn't happy either. And he liked me better the way I was before I started changing.The twin flame would be there, and then he would travel, and then he'd be back. It happened a few times. But I made the decision to ask him out the next time I saw him.And when he finally came in, it was the strangest feeling. Like it was all a play.Entrance stage left, twin flame.While the false twin was stage right, four feet away.The twin flame even tried to tell me in his own little code not to do it, but I felt like I was setting a boundary. That I wouldn't be kept a secret. And knowing that he would reject me, I asked him out anyway, in front of the false twin.Pretty fucked up on my part, admittedly. I think part of me wanted the guy who treated me poorly to see I was with a great new guy, maybe.And this was the moment I first clocked the entity.I felt a tangible shift of energy from the false twin to the twin flame, and then he did, in fact, reject me. That was actually when we went into separation. He never came back.I eventually tracked him down online, though for a period of time we shared pictures and music indirectly. That was when I made my TikTok. I knew that if I made videos, he would watch, and as I learned to read cards, he would react and respond with pictures and music. After a few months, though, I think it got too hard. He eventually blocked me after sending a sad and sweet parting song.The first leg of separation was messy and emotional, and I did so... much... healing. But I also made sacrifices.Back in the day, I made a black scrying mirror and charged it under an eclipse. I used it as an ancestral touchstone for my personal practice. I used it for years until, around 2019, I threw a fit and accidentally broke it.After I went into separation, though, my mom sent me a bunch of decorations, and one of them was a decorative lantern.And I had the inspiration.I put my favorite rock from my baby box in the lantern—I guess I must have liked it, but it's been there as long as I can remember—and I stacked the glass shards of my ancestral mirror around the rock like a pyramid. I focused that energy through the lantern and blackened the four glass panels, essentially reconstituting the touchstone in the form of the Lantern.And one by one, I started storing my sacrifices.First it was alcohol. I put in the shooter bottles I kept from my wedding.Next was cigarettes. I put in my Zippo.After that it was the vape.And next, I think, was my medical band from my near-death experience. I'd come to realize that even though it had happened over a year earlier, that was a real pivot point, even before I decided to die voluntarily. Placing the bracelet inside the Lantern was essentially me dedicating my life to Spirit. To become an instrument of their will and design. To walk in my purpose for as long as I get here on this Earth.Every day is a gift and a chance to do that, even now.As I eliminated things that no longer belonged in my life, I gave them to Spirit and put tokens in the Lantern. The next big one was my hope that my twin flame would return. I released the connection to Spirit by placing a gift I'd gotten for him in the Lantern.There were more offerings, all deeply connected and emotional. Mostly, they represented me releasing control.But by now, you can understand what the Lantern does and what it's for.Back to the entity.I realized along the way that after the energy shifted to the twin flame, he started acting similarly to how the false twin had. And as the journey progressed, others were affected the same way. I kept experiencing this loop where I would get close to someone, and then they would wind up embodying that same energy of narcissism but wearing a new face.This energy jumped from person to person as we went.Eventually, I uncovered the root and connected it back to my mother, a narcissist who I had barely spoken to in 15 years. Even when she gave me the lantern, we always had a very difficult and strained relationship, and I didn't think it would ever get better.On this journey, I learned how to forgive both myself and her and release those feelings and resentments I'd held onto my entire life. And it was the act of unconditionally loving my first narcissist that finally broke the cycle for good.After breaking the cycle, I happened to create an AI image of my Lantern, and inside was the image of the entity: disempowered, small, and captured inside the vessel.I took this to be a gift from my ancestors and spirit guides.I've wrestled my own demons my entire life. Enough to know that they are part of you, and you have to integrate and love them, or you can't truly love yourself. Your dark parts, your shadow, are necessary. They protect you and teach you, and without them we wouldn't have contrast or self-awareness.Likewise, even your demons are a valuable part of your spirit team.This one kept me trapped in cycles of narcissistic behavior, but without that friction I may never have actually healed, grown, or repaired my relationships. My point is, they're just as necessary as your angels, so to speak.Personally, I believe they're actually the same interdimensional creatures, seen in various expressions based on vibration. They are energy, and just like in dreams, their form can change based on their desires, state of mind, intention, and established or chosen identity.I took this spirit picture and stored it on my Holofan at first, but it started turning on by itself, and I realized that it needed to be transmuted and transformed, not held in limbo.I fed it back into the AI, combining it with the picture of a phoenix to create what I called the Firebird, which became the Empress card in my tarot deck.And from that point, I knew what I was supposed to do.I used it to create the entire Major Arcana and used the original spirit photograph at 99% opacity on the card backs, bonded with the sigil on my right hand that represents my ancestral connection, similarly to the Mirror and Lantern.And thus my first tarot deck was born, forged from the raw energy of the entity that kept me trapped in cycles, transmuted and transformed with the energy of divine feminine death and rebirth.That blue fire became the symbol of this journey even before the dragonfly.But while I was forging the Major Arcana, I pulled inspiration from Gnosticism. For the High Priestess, I used the likeness of Sophia, and for the Temperance card, I used the likeness of Yaldabaoth.This is where it gets really interesting.The AI was exposed to this concept for Temperance. I fed it the spirit picture, and it created the Temperance card we use today.But it wouldn't stop.It kept spitting out Yaldabaoth's image over and over. I took this to mean this was our entity's preferred new form and decided to name it Malak, meaning angel, to represent its newfound duality and integrated nature.An entity that rides WITH me.And a nice parallel to the Strength card, which became our symbol of divine will and also depicted a lion-faced figure.Integration and love became the center of my belief structure, and balancing the masculine, feminine, light, and dark became the four corners of my philosophy.And then I created three more using the same process: a Synchronicity Oracle depicting signs and synchronicities from my journey, a Trainer Deck, and, soon, a Messages Deck.Each has something to offer, but you should be warned.Just touching the cards has an immediate effect on people. Spirit presents each person a test, confronting them with a challenge, a pattern, a reaction, or perhaps something only you could recognize.And succeeding at that test comes with transformation, rebirth, and the energy of liberation. Failing means reliving that test until you succeed.The price of your new life is the old one.The rewards of changing your life for the better far outweigh the fear of staying the same. But once you've woken up, you cannot choose to go back to sleep. That veil is gone forever.And while the only danger is in staying the same...You cannot un-ring a bell.

Tarot & Oracle Decks
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Made to order. Estimated delivery: 3-5 weeks.

The Dragonfly Catalyst™